The most important
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: A goddess of Asgard who does not fit in with the rest thinks of how Loki is the only one who showed her kindness, as he does not fit the norm either. An examination at parts of Loki's past from a character who is very sympathetic towards him.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own anything._

_**Author's Note**__: due to rewatching Thor and the Avengers I had the desire to write something about Loki. The idea of Hel then comes. I thought that due to Loki being never fully accepted into Asgard, he might end up showing some sort of sympathy to another who is not completed accepted. First of all, I have never read any of the marvel comics, and I have only see the Avengers and Thor. In addition, I know that in Norse mythology, Hel is actually Loki's daughter. However, given that the adaption already changes, I thought I would do this fairly radical thing. I pick Hel due to the idea of her phsycial appearance. With Hel, I've actually read numerous different description- one says that she is half black on the other side, while another says that she is half rotted. The half has also been described in different ways. In my version, I decided to let her be half old, half young. If you don't like this idea, then just don't read or regard her as an OC._

* * *

Hel knew that she was abnormal ever since she was old enough to understand. Perhaps that was the very first thing that she was able to understand, as it was something too painfully obvious.

The young girl was born with a condition that was like a curse, as it robbed her the ability of being able to fit in with her society. Even the kindest and most well meaning of the dwellers of Asgard would be affected, as her condition was too unusual.

Half of her body was the normal smooth skin of a young girl, but the other half of the body was wrinkled and old.

In addition, she had the strange power of being able to bring harm due to the touch of her hand, which was why she had to wear gloves to prevent anything from being done. It was a dangerous power, so it was possible that the fate made compensation by letting her body be extremely weak. It would be most difficult for her to approach someone to use the power, as the others could easily overpower her.

If this was difficult for adults to understand, then it would be even harder for children.

Luckily, Hel had a father. A father who suddenly announced that he had a child, strange as she was; yet refused to say anything about the mother. Given what his child was like, he was actually a rather good father.

At the very least, the child had a father.

However, that was all that she had. Children naturally stayed away from her, partly due to her appearance, and partly due to the physical weakness. Not only did she make them feel uncomfortable, she was someone they had to be unusually careful with.

Hel did not have a place to go to, for there were no friends to meet her, no friends whose games she could join in. Yet the young girl would still venture out of her home, as it was too suffocating.

Her hidden place became the library, with her favourite section being the obsolete books that were rarely used. Even though she did not quite understand everything, she loved the feeling of the old books in her hand, the runes that tell multiple stories.

Each day, she would go to the library and either pick a new book or finish the one she last picked. The ones in charge of her were used to seeing her here, as well as being uneasy enough to follow her. Therefore, the day and place was hers alone.

Until that day…

A young boy was at the ignored room, staring hard at the shelves in the same way as she would when she decided which book to pick.

"Who are you?" she asked curiously, "No one ever comes here. I've never seen you before."

The boy was equally startled, but he then answered her.

"I am usually at the library in the palace." He said simply. "However, I think I was wrong. These books…these are treasures!"

"Are they very valuable?" she asked and she was a bit angry at the look that he gave her. It was as if she was an idiot. "It is not a stupid question. If they are so valuable then why are they in this abandoned room?"

"You are right. The question you ask is not stupid at all. It is the people who put them here. These books," as he said this, he touched the spine of the book very reverently. "Are very valuable because they contain great knowledge. However, people no longer care for this knowledge as they think that fighting is so much more important. My tutors think that I am wrong by focusing on studying so much when the weaponry lessons are the more important one. They say that I already have what I need to know."

"Is that why you are here?" she asked. "Who are you?"

"…do you not recognise me? Is it because I am by myself?" he muttered rather darkly before he told her: "Loki Odinson."

"The prince!" she began to curtsey, but he shook his head.

"There is no point."

"I am Hel."

"I know."

"Why are you talking to me then?" she asked, her hands clasped tightly, the smooth one hiding the wrinkled one. "Do you not find me repulsive?"

"You are unusual to look at." He said honestly. "However, I do not find you repulsive. You look different, that is it. I look different from my brother and my parents, but my mother told me that I am not repulsive at all. She told me that I just look different."

Odin's hair was now grey, but there were still those who remembered how he had first look when he received the crown of Asgard. Those would then comment about how much the first son resembled the father.

The same could not be said about the dark haired second son at all.

To make it even harder, it seemed that each day was making the difference even more obvious. The younger boy was not as strong as his brother, and instead of using his time to train so that he would be better, Loki has decided to devote his time to reading. This was seen in a negative way due to him abandoning the art of weaponry, which was seen as the basic necessity.

"You are the nicest boy…no, the nicest person I have ever meet." Hel declared out as she went to a shelf and grabbed a book, "So I am going to give this to you. This is my favourite book for now. I think you are also smart by coming here and I really hope that you would come here again."

"I think you are nice too." Loki admitted, although a young boy was naturally shyer at admitting this. "You are the first one other then my brother who wants to spend time with me."

"What do you mean?"

"Thor's other friends does not like me." he said bluntly. "Despite what Thor might say, I know that they only tolerate me due to him."

"Why? You are so…nice."

"I am not. Not at all. But then, his friends are not very nice to me either. They laugh at me whenever I fall behind, or when I fail to do something. Thor says that it is all in good fun as they would laugh at him too, but I don't think so."

"They are stupid then." she said scornfully. "I bet you can come up with really fun game."

"Thor is different." Loki quickly defended his brother. "But what he likes is different from what I like. He rarely has patience to finish a book."

"Well, I would always be here." She promised. "I think talking about books with you will be really fun. Also...no one else really wants to talk to me due to what I look like, and all I hear from the other girls are boys or clothes."

"They are stupid too then." Loki decided.

* * *

A strange friendship then formed, and it was not just due to pity and loneliness. Both children are well read, and they managed to end up having discussions about the context that should have made any teacher proud. Loki's friendship with Hel was naturally discovered and due to her happiness at Loki finally having someone that was his friend instead of Thor's, Frigg decided to give Hel and her father the honour of attending to one of the family's private meal.

It was just a private meal instead of a banquet because to do otherwise would be too extreme.

Loki was not sure exactly about what he felt. He was glad that Hel would be able to meet some of his family, yet he was very worried. After all, everyone seemed to like Thor better then him, and the only reason that Hel did not could be because she has never meet Thor.

He shouldn't have worried though, because the first thing Thor said made Hel decide that she would only put up with him for Loki. Thor commented about Hel's appearance and even though it was just the carless words of a youth, the young girl was deeply offended.

"You and my father are my favourite person in the world." She said to Loki when they were in the library the next day. "I like you much better then your brother."

Despite how disloyal the action was, Loki was more then a little happy. For the first time in his life, he was regarded as more important then the brother whose shadow he always lived with.

As the two of them grew older, they were not able to just continue hiding in their refuge. It was necessary for them to go out and be part of society, even though it was a society that was prejudiced against them. It was easier for Loki due to his family, but for Hel, she was still regarded as abnormal and people tended to distance her.

Despite Loki being in her company now and then, there was much that demanded his attention. As a result, the young woman felt that all that changed was the setting to where she read. Her place under the tree might very well be the abandoned part of the library, as there was no one. The sound of laughter that she could hear was something that she would never be able to take part in.

When the other sat beside her, she did not even bother to look up, because only one person would do so. Yet even this was something that she suspected, because she was not sure whether he would still want her company when he was with the others.

"I finished that book a while ago and I do not think that it is worth reading." He began. "The spells are described alright enough, but the way that the author discusses their use shows that he has no knowledge of what he is actually talking about."

"I disagree. He has made some good points in regard to…" her words were suddenly cut off due to her seeing Loki's appearance. "Who did it?"

"It was a duel gone wrong." Loki said with a careless shrug. "One of my brother's acquaintances challenged me to a fight."

"…why did you agree to something so stupid?"

"Because to refuse would cause my father and brother shame. Although, I probably should just have let them win, as everyone knows that I am not skilled at fighting." His words were bitter, the mockery there due to the numerous times he had to hear these words. "But I guess…I guess I was being stupid. I wanted to win. I wanted to show that I can win."

"Did you?"

"I did. That is why I got beaten up. The others," Loki spat out bitterly, "says that I cheated. I cheated because I used all my advantages."

"I think they are just being sore losers." Hel declared scornfully, and many often commented that whenever she spoke, it was to complain. But then, who was willing to actually talk to her properly? "You are I are simply not strong as the others, so what is wrong with using our advantages? Besides, they were the ones who wanted to challenge you."

* * *

The two of them did not stop being friends, but as they get even older, the time that they spend together had to decrease. However, there would still be times when Loki deliberately takes a seat beside her during the banquets, and there were also times when they would be in the library again.

Hel was not blind to his faults, as she knew what he could be like. She was well aware that the mouth that once whispered words of comfort to her was more then capable of harming others. However, she was not overly upset because these people who received it were often the ones who isolated her.

Even if no words were said to her face, she knew that people whispered about her due to abnormality.

Like all young girl, she ended up being very concerned about her appearance. However, it was very difficult and even painful for her.

Not only did she have no girls that she could talk about such topic with, she could not even buy anything without incurring any gossip.

Instead of having a book opened in front of her, Loki would often enter the library and find her staring hard at her reflection in a mirror that bore signs of having been thrown. Very often, she would be trying to paint the wrinkled side of her face or arrange her hair so that it covers it. If she was in a good mood, she would be decorating her hair.

One day, he wanted to play a little trick on her, as well as this being a way to practise his skills. It was easy to make an illusion that would cover something, but what about an illusion to hide something?

Therefore, he would make it as if her long hair was shorn.

He did not expect her reaction at all.

Hel started to scream and only stopped when he grabbed her and forced a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound.

"…look, it is not cut at all." He hissed as he grabbed the end of her hair and held it right in front of her. "I was only practising an illusion."

Once she calmed down, her reply was to elbow him. This would not have any effect due to her pitiful strength, but he was still shocked as it was rather unlike her.

"How can you be so cruel?" she snapped, picking up her comb and began to brush her hair with a new zeal, as if to reassure herself that it was still there.

"What is so important? It is only hair." The young man said.

"…I would have thought someone as clever as you would be able to understand." She said, her emotion now sad. "My hair…my hair is the only normal part of me."

Unlike the rest of her body, her hair was the same on both sides. It was only the hair of a young woman instead of being the hair of an old woman. It was not the golden hair that was regarded as beautiful, but for her, what she had was already like a miracle.

That was one of the few time when he apogloised and something he continued to remember.

On the day before the coronation, Loki entered the library to find her brushing her hair there with a large varry of her jewelleries there.

"Everyone will be there." Hel explained. "So…"

"Then I have the perfect gift for you." he said with a grin as he crouched down and slipped a bracelet on her hand, the hand on the side of the body that was old before its time. "Watch, Hel."

The wrinkled skins began to smooth out, making both side of the body similar.

"…am I normal then?" she whispered as she picked up the mirror. "I can finally…be beautiful too."

"As long as you wear this bracelet, you will be able to look like this." he assured her. "That is why it took me so long to make it. It was not easy because – "

However, she was not interested in the theories behind his explanation, because she interrupted him even as she grabbed his arm.

"Loki…am I finally…am I finally beautiful to you?"

"You still look the same to me, Hel. An illusionist would always be able to work out his illusions. However," the following was said sincerely, and the side of the face that he touched was the side that she loathed. "I never once thought of you as ugly. You look unusual, that is all. Unlike the rest of the people here, your inside is not…twisted. People who talk behind our back, they are ugly."

She smiled and leant forward, kissing his checks.

"Loki, your father might have made Thor the king, but I would still regard you as more important. You would always be the more important."

* * *

A series of events was triggered by the coronation, and Hel was actually not able to talk to Loki, as he was very occupied with his plans. She was not sure what she thought about it, but she could understand why he would do it. After all, he had long lived in the shadow of his brother and this was his one and only chance.

She had hoped that when things calmed down, Loki would come and talk to her. Maybe not even about what happened, but to just talk to her as they would do in the past.

However, that was not to be, as he was lost. Cast down to the mortal world in the same way that his brother did. His crime was simple: in his zeal of protecting their home, he ended causing too much harm.

That was the nicest version, the version that Odin declared out to the people. However, there were many that whispered about how it was not due to Asgard, but due to Loki's own ambition and some even whispered that the frost giants were his fault.

"…what are you doing here?" the guards immediately crossed their spears in front of her. Despite the fact that she never once did everything, she was certainly not popular. The fact that she was often in Loki's company probably made it worse, and she cynically wonders whether she should regard herself as lucky by not being seen as an accompanist.

"I wish to see the All Father. Is that a crime?" she hissed. "Let me pass."

"Yes, let her come." Odin said.

Like most of the minor deities in Asgard, Odin was someone that Hel would usually only seen afar. However, she was a bit lucky due to having once been in that meal where Odin was sitting right next to her.

She was sure that it was not so long ago, but the All Father seemed much older. As for Thor, she thought that he looked different, although she must be honest by admitting that her eyes were usually on the other brother.

"All Father…I merely wish to know…whether Loki would be able to…to…" she began, finding the words stuck in her throat due to her fear at the answer. "He…he is your son, is he not? Therefore…"

"Enough." Despite the word, the tone was not unkind. "Yes, he is my son. The other answer is 'yes' too. One day…hopefully, he would be able to make his way back here again."

"Then that is all I wish to know." She was prepared to leave, but was stopped due to Odin holding up a hand.

"But there is something you should know. Loki…Loki was not cast down. He chooses to let him go himself."

"I am not surprised." Hel said bitterly. "He feels that he have no place left here. He would always think of the worst."

"Hel, a final question." This time, it was Odin that hesitated, a very unusual thing. Beside him, Thor frowned, having guessed what his father was going to ask.

"Father, are you certain – "

"Yes. Hel," Odin began again. "You have been in my son's company ever since you two were children and you accepted him for all his mistakes and flaws. Would you still be able to accept him if he has the blood of a frost giant? Loki himself was not able to accept this."

"I can." Hel said without any hesitation as she took off her bracelet and then touched the face that was now in its original form. "Because he is the only one who accepts this. I am going to wait for him and I will always support him."

It was not easy to wait, especially when the news grew from bad to worse. When Loki reappeared, he ended up causing more destruction, making it harder for him to go back.

It was clear that when he returned to Asgard, it would be in chains.

But at least he would return, Hel thought.

One day, it finally happened.

Hel saw how everyone began to gather around Thor, congratulating him. No one seemed to be spare a second look at the gagged and bound man. Perhaps this was actually some sort of a restraint, as they would probably desire to do more.

Loki looked…defeated. He was no longer that boy with his bright eyes or even the young man with that anger at the world. He simply looked…tired.

She slipped her bracelet off and walked to the brothers. Even though those present here has seen her real face, it was still enough to cause a reaction.

She did not even look at Thor. Instead, she went to stand right in front of Loki.

"Welcome back, Loki. I missed you. I have been waiting for you to come back ever since you were gone." She said, and her words were completely sincere. Then, she turned to Thor. "Lord Thor, you returned."

This was the only thing that she could do, to show Loki that she still regarded him as more important.

The other could not give her any reply, but she thought that for a very brief moment, his eyes softened.

It was very slight, but that was a start.

* * *

_**Author's Note**__: Loki is my favourite character and I feel that he is actually a tragic hero. I feel that what happened is the result of his insecurity. I feel that many of his actions is done due to the fact that he was never accepted and felt inferior. Given that the Vikings are a society that really values physical strengths, the fact that he was not strong would have made him be seen as weaker. In addition, he is also not someone who loves fighting, so some probably saw him as a coward. The fact that he found out that he was a frost giants then made things worst for him, doubting everything. I know that he went semi-wild with the damages done to earth, but for most of the film, he was merely trying to kill the frost giants, which was what the others were doing too._

_I personally feel that the other is really biased towards him. He clearly did not seem to fit in and they seemed to just blame him. They did not even try to think a bit more._

_Therefore, I feel that because Hel sees him as more important, that would really have an effect, and I think it is good that he could have someone who can accept him. _

_This story is just a oneshot, but if people actually want to read more, I'll be happy to try and write a bit more. My interpretation is that Hel clearly loves him, but Loki himself just regard her as a friend. Since this is a oneshot where we only see them as friends, this oneshot is categorized as friendship. _


	2. Chapter 2

Hel's hair was held up, as if to deliberately draw attention to her strange face, as it was completely exposed. Yet instead of just letting it be, it was even painted.

The guards were too happy to excuse themselves.

"…are you no longer wearing my gift?" the prisoner did not stand up to greet her, but he did shuffle closer to the edge of the glass.

"And deny them of their freak show?" she retorted. "I have heard a lot of things concerning you."

"Why are you here then?"

"Where else can I be?"

"Should I list my crimes for you then? A murderer, an usurper, a frost giant, a killer, a liar…all these words are making my throat dry. Perhaps I should cut the audience short."

"I can do the talking then." Hel said as she played with that bracelet that she was almost always wearing. "What you give are all things that I can accept. What you did are things I will learn to live with. It is due to a foolish sentiment, but since it exists, what can I do other then accept it?"

"Perhaps so." He admitted. "But so what?"

"You have always been my friend and regardless of how these emotions come to us, they are real."

"But even then, you were lied to. I am a frost giant." He said bitterly.

"Stop that." She said angrily. "What you are born as does not matter, it is how you are raised."

"I am a frost giant." He spat out once more. "I am the monster that people tell children of."

"A fine pair then." she commented as she touched her face.

"Hel…" at this, he finally laughed. "You are always so stubborn. Perhaps…at the least, I think I can believe you."

* * *

She continued to come, speaking of light hearted things. Despite there being times when he was not in a good mood, he would never tell her to shut up. A few times, he would ask her to stop talking for a while, but that was all.

"A few days ago, I was thinking about how you cut Sif's hair." She began one day, her hair still held up and she would still not wear her bracelet, although the bracelet would never be far from her. "Of course, you would say that this is simply because she irritated you so you wanted to play a trick."

"What other reasons could there be?" he said. This was one of his better days, as he was actually carrying on a conversation with her.

"I remember Sif laughing at me because I was so vain of my hair." Hel said. "You decided to prove that she is equally bad. Of course, I am fully aware that I am not the only reason, but a small part I think, was me."

"What if it is?"

"Then that is enough." She said before she chuckled. "I can still remember how she screamed, and what you then said."

"'But Sif, I thought that you did not place great value in your hair since you are a warrior." Loki quoted out and there was even a faint smile on his lips.

It was easier to laugh if there was someone who could do so with you.

"…you know, my father is not so young now." Hel suddenly said. "He told me that he wishes to see grandchildren before he dies."

It was not easy to make him speechless, even for a brief while, but that comment was enough. However, that did result in some sacrifice as it was a long time before he was able to speak again.

"I have doubted your sanity for quite a while, but this is the first time I think you really lost it."

"Well, you are probably the only one and I want you to be the only one." at this, she leant against the glass, her palm and forehead both touching it. "I love you and I find solace in your company. I think it can work out."

"And your father would just accept it?"

"I suppose I must have inherited my insanity from somewhere. He says that he will be fine. Think about it." she urged. "We can live in my father's house and we would not have to face those who are always prejudiced. It'll be a happy place as we would want to return there."

He could not give her an immediate reply, yet he had to admit that the idea was one with great merit. After all, were they not good friends for a very long time? Did he not have a strong affection for her?

Was he not happy at seeing her visit each day?

"You'll be waiting for a long time." he still said, as the ability of believing was something too far away. "You will be throwing all your other chances away."

"Please, it is not as if anyone would want me. Even if they do, I would not want any of them. No one," She said firmly. "Is superior then you in my eyes. I want the best."

The funny thing was that he did not doubt that. She always made it clear that he was her first choice.

* * *

As time goes by, he realised that this might actually be a good idea. Even if he was still getting used to the proposal, it might not be bad to stay with her for a while. Unlike the palace, her house would not be filled with the reminders of his inferiority and crime.

Hel's father was actually someone that did not regard him in a negative way. After all, the other was aware of what being unusual meant too well and he doted on his daughter, so any of her loved ones would be his.

The initial distance he gave to Loki was not due to any dislike of the boy's character, but merely awe at facing one of the two princes.

Yes, maybe he actually had a place to return to after this sentence.

"…grandchildren, is it?" he had muttered, the conversation no longer one way and no longer just decided by her. "With our appearance?"

"Both my father and you saw past that. Besides," at this, her lips curled into a smile. "I've always regarded you as very handsome. That is another reason to why I like my hair- it is like yours."

"You really need to get your head examined."

"So do you, since you are actually considering accepting!"

It was late a night, a time where all was asleep. The only reason that he was not was because his mind refused to let this be. His mind would often work even when the body demanded rest.

The guards seemed barely awake themselves, although to say that was a bit unfair as they were soon helped into sleeping.

Hel did not have the talent that Loki possessed, but she was still very capable too due to the desire that drove her, as well as how much she studied for it.

"You are not going to drag me to an altar, are you?" Loki commented, only half in jest.

This was partly due to her personality and the fact that she was dressed very elaborately with all of her jewellries. For someone who was not born into a very rich family, this was only done for marriage.

"Pleasant and entertaining as the thought is, no." she said, her voice very grim. "You know…I think you are still not in that bad a position. I think being a different race is better then being a hybrid."

"…what are you speaking of?" he began, but then corrected himself. "What did you actually learn?"

"I learnt that my mother was royalty, but if that is the case, I rather be a beggar." She said bitterly. "My uncle has come to demand my return."

"A group who abandoned you?" he said scornfully, thinking of the first ever act of betrayal that he faced.

"…well, someone who did what she did could not be in their right mind." She said thoughtfully. "My father says that it was a deep and wild love, but of course he would say so."

"What are you?"

"Please, you are smart enough to work that out yourself." she said bitterly. "A royalty that want me and a commoner with little impact…there really is no choice, is there?"

"Why?"

"I would not cause my father pain, he who loved me in the greatest way." She said without any hesitation. "I would not have him feel that he betrayed me by giving me up, or having him come to any injury due to defending me."

"Why now?" he only said these two words, but that was enough.

"I don't know why but I know that they have a reason. Therefore, I will go now. Before words spread."

"…don't." he finally said, the word feeling like led.

"You think that this would be enough?" without intending to, her voice became cold. "We are friends, but that is not a valid reason."

"Did you not declare that I am the father of your children?" he pointed out and as he said this, he realised that he has actually started to believe this. This was so ridiculous that he actually started to laugh.

So did she.

"I think I just needed to hear this." she said softly. "So I can go happily."

"Why?"

"Because the voice that calls out to me is one that would not be unheeded." She then placed her bracelet on a table, before she then carefully arranged the angle so that it would be concealed. "This is my most valuable treasure even though you were the one who gave it to me. I hope…I hope that you will think of me now and then."

* * *

When the guards shifted, the ones that entered were more then a little bit surprised. Not only was the disgraced prince looking very haggard and angry, everything in his room was destroyed.

They did not have a very long time to think, as Thor was soon here and the private audience must be granted.

"It is not wise to be in my company now, brother." Loki said coldly, a deliberate repetition of what had resulted in a chain of events.

"You know that Hel is gone?"

"You know why she is gone?" Loki countered back.

"Rumour as Hemdhal himself said that he could not quite see due so something hiding in shadows. As for her father, he refuses to talk to anyone. He locked himself away.

"It might seem voluntary, but it is not." Loki said simply. "The fact that she did not tell you means that there is no point for me to share any information."

"…did she come here before she left?"

"Well, it is not as if she had many others place to go."

At this, Thor realised something. Even though Loki's words were light hearted and lazy, his fist was actually clenched together. In fact, bloods were drawn from it.

"Brother…"

Perhaps it was the tone but at the very next moment, the broken item was hurled at the glass, the already shattered pieces breaking into even more shards.

"Do not dare to be patronizing when you do not understand anything." Loki hissed.

Hel was special to him, the only one who regarded him as the most important. Perhaps if it was not for her, then he'd have collapsed long ago due to all the weights of jealousy and resentment.

An ice had surrounded him and she was the one who managed to break it by taking his hand.

It was not a strong connection as she was barely connected, yet a connection did manage to exist.

Now, she was gone.

What was there left?

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**_This story is the result of me rewatching Thor and t__hen watching the Avengers. __One of the first thing__s__that I wanted to do afterwards was to write a fan fiction. This is actually the second one, and it is a bit of an extension of the first one. It talks about what happened in the 2nd film (trailer). Most of this is my own speculation._

_However, this is the idea that I had. Hel is actually of mixed heritage, her mother__ is a dark elf. __This is an oneshot in the fact __that I have only got the ideas and I am not thinking about whether it is actually making sense. __But the idea is that due to her being gone, this would be part of __the reason that caused Loki to go and save her._

_I guess my __ideal ending is that the two of them would end up being together since they are both semi-outcast._


End file.
